Culture Shock

Recently, I've actually felt like I'm a college student; I've had lots to do the past week (which comes at a horrible time since it's still the Cervantino). For example, tomorrow morning I have to turn in a six page paper about auditory phonetics; if I don't have it ready to turn in, I can't take my phonetics exam in the morning. Of course, I procrastinated like any good college kid and stayed up until 3 am this morning working on it, which is a bit harder to accomplish in Spanish. I got most of it done and went to bed only lacking a conclusion which I was going to write this afternoon.

When I got to school this morning I was talking with some classmates and realized that I had formatted the paper wrong: instead of double-spaced the paper had to be single spaced. WHO IN THE WORLD FORMATS A PAPER WITH SINGLE SPACING?? THAT IS AGAINST EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER LEARNED ABOUT PAPER-WRITING!! As you can imagine, I was not too thrilled because I had six pages double-spaced. So this afternoon was spent doing even more research and stressing about trying to fill six single-spaced pages with information about auditory phonetics in Spanish. I got it done, but it's definitely not the most impressive paper I've ever written.

I realize that I am judging this from my background in schools in the States and that it's a horrible attitude to have. And actually, right now I've pretty much gotten over it. It just didn't make it a really great day.

P.S. On top of it all, my Spanish grammar was a disaster today. I'm NEVER going to master this language.

3 Months!

Today is my 3 month anniversary with Mexico! It's kind of weird to have an "anniversary" but I like to keep track of where I am from month to month.

It's amazing how much my Spanish has improved from Day 1. I always get really excited when I successfully have a conversation (the little things, remember?), use the subjunctive in the proper context, or understand everything that's going on around me. I keep reminding myself that this is such a good experience to have, especially if I want to teach ESL. I know that I'm not stupid...it's just the language barrier that sometimes gets in the way. And I hate when people think that I'm below-average intelligence because there are still so many things about Spanish that I don't know. Now that I know how it feels, I vow never to think the same of any of my future students or treat them in that way.

Also, the other frustrating thing about learning a language is that it comes and goes in phases. Some days I feel like I can hold my own with any Mexican and other days it's like I've never seen a Spanish textbook in my life. I'm realizing that by attempting to learn Spanish I've committed myself to an entire lifetime of fighting to maintain it.

So, back to my anniversary. Today I'm going to celebrate with several other exchange students with dessert and coffee (the tradition that Lisa, Laura, and I started), AND it's still the Cervantino so there's ALWAYS something to do/see!!

"Hola guera"

Disclaimer: This is one of those "I'm going to talk about guys from the perspective of a single girl" posts. It has to come at some point, right?

I've mentioned before that being a white girl here in Mexico is kind of an automatic indicator that you will get stares, whistles, comments, etc. I've grown accustomed to it and can definitely find the humor in the situation. And, I'll admit, at first it was kind of nice. It's very different from the US and I was flattered and felt like I was pretty.

But then your rationale and logic has to kick in, and you realize that none of it means anything. The problem is that it could be almost any white foreigner...you're going to get the same reaction. So, it's not that I'm special or noteworthy in any way, except that I'm white. This is completely unfair to the Mexican girls, as well. There are some gorgeous Mexicans that don't get the same attention/recognition simply because of their coloring. So, it goes to say, that if two comparable girls are standing next to each other, the one with the lighter skin is probably going to get more attention. How fair is that? Not at all.

My other observation is that the culture of relationships here is also very different. Boyfriend/girlfriend does not automatically mean an exclusive relationship; there are tons of guys who are going to flirt with you regardless of their other relationships. So do I even want to attract somebody who puts so little value in fidelity?

This also brings up the question of race. Once again, because I am white, I'm treated a certain way. I get more attention than some Mexican girls (although it could just be because of the stereotype that girls from the States are "easy"), although many times it's unmerited. So, many people are just looking at the color of my skin. But then, if I pass over white guys to pay more attention to people who are darker, aren't I doing the same thing? And, since this post is a huge generalization, aren't I labeling the Mexican guys the same way that I am labeled as a white female American?

This is why it's so much easier to be a feminist.

Meeting the Family

Yesterday I went with Eloisa to the weekly family gathering at her parents' house. It was my first time meeting the whole family (and it wasn't even everybody). You are free at this point to think of a rather stereotypical Mexican family gathering with TONS of food, lots of people talking all at once, and (of course) tequila since Eloisa's father is a fan. Eloisa is one of 11 children who are all grown and have their own children, etc. 11 CHILDREN!! I can't even begin to imagine it. Needless to say, yesterday's meal did not even compare to my family all gathered for Thanksgiving/Christmas/etc. Yesterday we were at least 15, probably more as people came and went. No wonder Eloisa thought it was strange that I only have 2 cousins. I'm proud to say that my Spanish held up pretty well and I understood way more than I thought I would. Her family is really interesting; I talked with one of her sisters whose daughter is engaged to an American and another sister who is a professor of piano in the university's school of music.

Yesterday also happened to be Eloisa's birthday which I didn't know about until the cake was brought out and everybody started singing. Today after class I went downtown to find her a little something as a present. I actually had a great time going in all the stores and looking at the jewelry, clothing, and artesanias. I gave her the gift at lunch today and it made me so happy that I could give something to Eloisa since she's done so much for me since I came to Mexico. I feel more and more everyday part of the family.

The Little Things

I hope that I never lose my excitement for the little things that happen in life. They're really probably some of the most important things. Some examples (in list format)!

-watching the fireworks for the inauguration of the Cervantino with Octavio from the roof of the house last night

-finally being able to eat normal food again after being completely nauseous for two days (I'll be much happier when my stomach gets with the program)

-having a conversation with my phonetics professor after class (and understanding everything!)

-sitting in a cafe downtown with friends, watching the people

-buying another novel in Spanish (I'm going to have some problems with the weight limit of my luggage when I return)

-being adopted by the family cat, Rita, who regularly comes into my room and sometimes sleeps with me at night

-the prospect of going downtown tonight with some friends to see a play in San Fernando Plaza (one of my favorite places in all of Guanajuato)

Life is good :)

El Cervantino

Today is the beginning of el Cervantino, an annual cultural festival in Guanajuato that celebrates the cultural contribution of Miguel de Cervantes. From now until November 1st there are all sorts of concerts, shows, and street performances...not to mention the people that come from all over the world. I'm SO excited!!!!

You can read a little bit about el Cervantino here (the official website is in Spanish):

http://www.guanajuato.travel/Cervantino/Default.aspx

It's all about the experience (and a little bit about don Pancho)

This past weekend I went with Shannon to visit Morelia and Uruapan in Michoacan. It was the perfect trip and I had the greatest time ever. At one point we were talking about how it's so much better to have experiences instead of things. I didn't used to think that way, but now I'm convinced that the experience of doing and seeing things is worth infinitely more than owning things. This weekend was full of experiences, such as...

watching Mexico qualify for the World Cup

seeing street performers in the plaza

listening to an African (Mexican) drum group

riding horses to San Juan, a pueblo that was covered by a volcanic eruption. The church tower is the only thing still visible above all the lava (you can see the volcano Paricutin in the background).

eating gazpacho (mixed fruit covered in cheese and chile)

watching a fireworks show at Morelia's catheral two nights in a row

spending time with friends

Don Pancho: Our guide to San Juan was don Pancho, a man in his 80s who witnessed the volcanic eruption when he was 13. He's probably one of the most fascinating people I've met so far in Mexico. First, Spanish is not his native language since in his village everyone speaks an indigenous language. He's lived all of his life in this village near the volcano and told us that he's only been to one other city in Mexico. His only job is guiding tourists on horseback. When Shannon asked him what he did during the week when there weren't many tourists he said, "I wait for them to come." All of his family lives in this village and there's nothing that prompts him to leave. I'm intrigued by don Pancho. Imagine living your whole life in one place with extremely limited contact to the rest of the world. Imagine never traveling and never seeing more than what you grew up with. It makes me feel extremely lucky to have the opportunity to go to university, to live and travel in Mexico, and to understand that there is so much more to life than what I know.

Why I Want To Be A Teacher

Well, it's October. In NC, this would mean sweaters, pumpkins, lots of coffee, and leaves changing! In Mexico, this means less rain, but pretty much just as much heat. This also means that I've been in Mexico for over two months. This also marks probably the longest period of time in over four years that I have not had any contact with students. Sure, I go to university every day, but I don't have an internship in a public school, I don't tutor, and I don't have camp where I'm surrounded by 70-100 kids EVERY SINGLE DAY!! I miss it. I don't remember when I decided I wanted to be a teacher (it certainly wasn't my original career choice), but I'm so excited that teaching is what I'll be doing for at least four years of my life.

In Mexico, there is, as in every country, a lot of poverty. I don't really see it too much here because I am a university student, I live with a upper middle class family, and Guanajuato is a pretty wealthy, tourist-y city in comparison with other places in the country. Poverty still exists, however. The thing that I have the hardest time with here is seeing all the child beggars. You can sit in a restaurant or in any place downtown and, in the period of an hour, there will be around 5 different children, all under the age of 10, asking you to buy gum or flowers for a couple of pesos. You have to say no, even though it breaks your heart. What struck me when I first arrived in Mexico was that children would come in to bars and clubs trying to sell these things, sometimes even at 2 in the morning. This is even worse because these children should be in bed and should NOT be allowed to enter a place full of alcohol and cigarette smoke.

My instinct is to adopt all of these children and give them the opportunity to go to school. More and more I'm convinced that an education is especially vital for children who need to break free of the circle of poverty that they live in. These are the kind of students I want to teach.

I heard a song the other week that reminds me of these kids I see every day:
Esta es la historia de Juan, el nino que nadie amo
que por las calles crecio, buscando el amor bajo el sol
su madre lo abandono
su padre lo maltrato
su casa fue un callejon
su cama, un carton
su amigo, Dios

Juan pregunto por amor
y el mundo se lo nego
Juan pregunto por honor
y el mundo le dio deshonor
Juan pregunto por perdon
y el mundo lo lastimo
Juan pregunto y pregunto y el mundo jamas lo escucho

El solo quiso jugar, el solo quiso sonar, el solo quiso amar
pero el mundo lo olvido
el solo quiso volar, el solo quiso cantar, el solo quiso amar
pero el mundo lo olvido

This is not to say that there are only these type of children just in Mexico. There are so many in the United States, as well. It's easy to laugh at all the stereotypes in this song, but there's a lot of it that's also very true.

And all my people drug dealin jus to get by, stack ya money till it gets sky high
We wasn't supposed to make it past 25 but the joke's on you, we still alive
Throw your hands up in the sky and say we don't care what people say

If this is your first time hearing this you are about to experience something cold man
We never had nothing handed, took nothing for granted
Took nothing from no man, man I'm my own man
But as a shorty I looked up to the dopeman
Only adult man I knew that wasn't a broke man

You know the kids gonna act a fool when you stop the programs for after school
And they DCFS them some of them dyslexic, they favorite 50 Cent song's 12 Questions
We scream, rock, blows, weed park so now we smart
We aint retards the way teachers thought
Hold up hold fast we make mo'cash. Now tell my momma I belong in the slow class
It's bad enough we on welfare
You trying to put me on the school bus with the space for the wheel chair
I'm trying to get the car with the chromy wheels here
You tryin to cut our lights like we don't live here
Look at what's handed us, our father's abandoned us
When we get the hammers gone and call the ambulance
Sometimes I feel no one in this world understands us
But we dont care what people say

There are students like this in every country, that speak every language, and there is no reason why they should not have the same opportunities as everybody else. This is why I want to be a teacher.

I actually have to do work here?

Unfortunately, the academic side of study abroad has picked up a little (or it could be that I just procrastinated). The latter is more likely.

Anyway, I'm reading a novel (finally) for my literature class on Wednesday. I have to say that I'm so thankful that it's not poetry because I've about had it with poetry in any language. NOT my thing. This book, however, would not be my first choice to read. It's called "El luto humano" by Jose Revueltas (translated: The human suffering) and it's pretty depressing. So far, two people have died, and the rest are walking with the corpses in this crazy storm to some unknown destination. Ugh.

It's taking me forever to read it because the vocabulary is kind of abstract, and there's so much description and not very much action.

On the bright side: I'm becoming extremely adept at looking up words in the dictionary. My mastery of the alphabet is stellar.